Hi there! Here i am on my second! day of freedom (yey) and in the mood to write again. hihi.
Yeah as much as i enjoy my freedom, (as i already resigned from my last job just two days ago :P) there are some regrets to leave such a pretty-well-paid job (at least for fresh-graduate standards like me). hmmm. But yeah, like i described earlier on my previous post : click here my last job was sooo time-consuming, full of pressure and kinda stressing me out every month. Like, every. Yeah, that`s how marketing goes. How much money you could earn by the end of the month depends on your efforts to make sales EVERY MONTH. Haha!
Either way, it`s my own decision to leave now and i think it`s a perfect time for me to quit and to leave my comfort zone. Life must goes on~ as i wouldn`t have had many times for my free time such as holiday and other self development thingies i have been planning to do if i had stayed there. haha.
Oh yeah, and for the update from my previous post also, click here about the Japan thing. So. Basically my dad already approves of me going there :') YEY! (Thanks a lot dad you're the best. I love you so muuuch) Well, it just leaves me to take care of the registration process and all and i`m ready to go. The plan is to go there by june. This year. Hopefully i will be okay :') Oh, God bless me. Japan, wait for me :) I will definitely write about this anytime soon.
That`s all for the update of my situation right now. And the reason why i am writing this post right now is i just learned something very important that i wanted to share with you all. Beginning with some quotes i took randomly from God-knows-where :
1 . "You'll end up real disappointed if you grow up thinking everyone has the same heart as you do."
2. "You don`t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn`t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance - You don`t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It`s one thing if a person owns up to their own behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go."
Okay. So basically, quote number 1 is what i`ve been doing all this time. I tend to believe that people i meet (who leaves a nice impression already yah, if they have some kind of bad impressions from first and it continues, of course i already get my alerts on and try my best to leave them, like i`m not that stupid ha) are kind and mean no harm. I got no bad intention to others and i always believe that obviously others will, or at least, should, too. I mean, if i treat you right, i assume that you will do me the same. I would feel bad to myself to hurt people or asking for others' right. I mean, duh, why should i? It just never feels right for me. And so, i thought everybody i know would/ SHOULD think the same way like me.
Ok, this is both good and bad thing. I trust and feel pity to people easily. Like, very easily. I enjoy listening to people's stories. And hearing people's sad stories could make me relate to my life somehow and be more grateful on it. I could understand people's situation more by knowing their conditions. And, if they need something, i would gladly help them if i could. And maybe that`s how i got the good girl image sticking on me everywhere i go.
The bad thing is, sometimes i help without realizing that some people might only want to take advantage of me and ending up being disappointed after they did something to hurt me, and i would like, "i helped you. but this is how you say thanks?" -_- Ok, this is my weakness. I admit it so bad. I hardly say no, and i would feel bad to reject others. My bad. Maybe that`s how you described naïve, at least from other's point of view of me. Oh, well....
Should have applied this quote number 3 to my life so bad :
Should have applied this quote number 3 to my life so bad :
3. "When you say "YES" to others, make sure you're not saying"NO" to yourself :)"
One of my very best friend would scold me of being S.T.U.P.I.D (yeah with capslock and bold) every time something like that happens. Sometimes, i do realize the fact that i might ended up disappointed AGAIN if i trust some people AGAIN but yeah, sometimes i choose to trust them again anyway by this line of thinking, "oh, maybe they have changed now" and then, turned out i was...... wrong. lol. It`s always a never-ending cycle for me which is always going on and on for some times.
On most of the events, i would give people chances again if they seems to be getting better and change their behavior. I mean, if we can all be friends rather than be enemies it would be better, right? And that`s the primary cause why i like to give in to people.
*Though on a side note here,
It sounds like i`m very gullible yeah, but i`m not that stupid, though. I may forgive easily but that doesn`t mean that i forget. And sometimes you might call me too innocent or too honest or whatsoever, but if i REALLY don`t like someone's behavior towards me SO BAD, (i mean, duh it`s already OBVIOUS that i don`t like you, but you still annoy me), i COULD SPIT OUT what i feel about you HONESTLY towards your face and confront you. And don`t be surprised if i did, haha. I mean, if i already give a chance to people, many chances and they keep disappointing me again and again, i would choose to avoid them like i did before :
It sounds like i`m very gullible yeah, but i`m not that stupid, though. I may forgive easily but that doesn`t mean that i forget. And sometimes you might call me too innocent or too honest or whatsoever, but if i REALLY don`t like someone's behavior towards me SO BAD, (i mean, duh it`s already OBVIOUS that i don`t like you, but you still annoy me), i COULD SPIT OUT what i feel about you HONESTLY towards your face and confront you. And don`t be surprised if i did, haha. I mean, if i already give a chance to people, many chances and they keep disappointing me again and again, i would choose to avoid them like i did before :
So there was this one guy from my last job, i feel pity to him as he doesn`t have parents anymore, live by himself, and so on. I would share my food, treat him sometimes and lend him money and rarely ask for it back before the payday. Actually, he's nice but he got trouble with his big mouth and i really don`t like it. I already talked to him about it many times until after there was this one big turn-out event when i finally think he didn`t deserve my kindness anymore. After that one occassion, i chose not to care anymore, and i really didn`t. Well, i think he already knew where he stood.
This is where quote number 2 i wrote above goes. I learned that it`s okay to let go of some negative, toxic people outta your life in order to gain peace. Ok, for me, it`s not that i stopped being nice with him. It`s just, i must know how to set my limits and define how much kindness i can still give (my tolerable amount of kindness i`m still willing to give) without expecting nice return anyway and be disappointed again towards some people.
And i would perfectly add up quote number 4 here :
And yeah, i realized it much after i graduated and entering work life, especially after experiencing work as a marketing, a cruel world where it`s a competition every day with your own colleagues to earn as much selling as you can to get much, much, much and much money! (my boss quote, "sales world can change people into a bad person. From sales, you can see a people's true color whether they're real good or not") It's a fact, yo! Like, sales is a game of numbers and commission and that`s what makes your salary for the next month, haha.
From this job, i learned that many people are not as kind and good as how they look like at first. (at least they are not as good as you think they would at first) Ok, they might leave a friendly, nice impression at your first encounter with them, an impression they wouldn`t leave anymore when it comes to MONEY. Be careful with money cause it`s a sensitive case. Money could really driven you crazy and forget other things, haha. Like, money, money, money~
*Another back story of how terrible money could have worked over your relationship with your own friend (now becoming ex-friend) :
So, there is this one person i secretly admired* (at first. now : haha don`t even ask. SICK OF HIM.) But we are now are not in the states of getting along AT ALL after i`ve already been disappointed real bad. Maybe i expected too much of him. Thought he would be different than the others. It just never crossed my mind for him to ever said something so CRUEL to me and had that kind of thinking towards me. haha. It really hurt me, like so deep. And so, under my disappointment, i hurt him back. And he really hurt, too. We just hurt each other round and round. I feel sorry at first to have said something so bad to him, but i didn`t regret what i have said to him now, tho. He deserved it well. :)
The only regret i had was if i remembered our moment of laugh, togetherness and friendship we shared back then that just be forgotten just like that after this case had happened like we were strangers. Worse than it, because now we are pretending like we don`t know each other. At all. Like a couple of ex boyfriend and girlfriend. HAHA. And it`s not a-so-comfortable-situation when you will still have some business to do over his place. haha. But whatever. Maybe it`s better this way and loook at how sensitive you are, money.
(Okay, So, My best friend's comment on this case was just, "you know, it`s only natural when money plays. Everyone would think the same way." )
-
(Well, yeah, but i`m not. If i were him, i wouldn`t ask for what's supposed to be other's rights. I would be ashamed of myself if i did as i`m the type who will feel bad if i took advantage of others, or so i thought, especially since i`m thinking that we were close enough before. Am i the only one who were thinking that we were that close, or am i too anti-mainstream? Or maybe i am just too naïve on this? Well, whatever.)
Well, so shame on me now to ever have admired him. :)
But maybe it just meant to happen. I mean, if it hadn`t happened, i would have never known about his true self. Thank you God for making me realize and opening my eyes that have been blinded for so long. I never listened to people saying that he is never as kind as i thought before, i chose to deafen my ear and trust my emotion and playing with feelings instead and so here we are.
Then we met again, quote number 2! ^^, bye bye, you, hypocrite people who taught people to be positive and be grateful, bla bla bla but are negative himself. Already sick of your bullshit. Maybe it would be best for you to just throw away your many motivation books to the trashbin. (Cause it`s where they belong as it's not applicable for you and your doing). Who mentions others mistakes but not mirroring first. Who are attention-seeker in front of everyone, wanting to be the perfect one by bringing others down. Just realized it now after months in pretending not realizing. Well, so shame on you now. Only hoping that God will bless you for what you are, for your two-faced life and self-righteousness :) Karma is right there, my friend.
*A little clarification here :
From that case that just had happened to me, if think it through, the primary cause of the case (the fight and argument we had that made us hurting and hating each other every turn) was caused by my very high expectation towards him. Like i said before, i expected him to somehow understand my situation. While in the reality, it was not always like that, when it`s already connected with money. So, you never saw that coming before. But when you already had that high expectation towards someone from the very first moment and it turned out that it didn`t come true, get ready to be (first), disappointed and... hurting (denial stage, because you still don`t want to believe it).... and hating (It`s true, fact and now you hate him).
So, for my clarification here, i never intended to say that he or everyone else is a bad people to got that line of thinking (regarding money issue), like i`m the only saint here. I am not saying that he is evil and i am innocent. That he is bad then i`m good. Because people are different. What you feels right, might not be right for me and vice versa.
And when you were already been disappointed like that, whose fault was it then? Was it their fault? NO, it`s your fault. Your fault for having so much good expectation outta people :)
And let me write down quote number 5 here :
5. "Remember : expectation kills. Never, ever put too much expectation towards people, even if it is your best friend or your family. Cause when you do, and it isn`t come true, you are the one who will ending up real disappointed." - me made this one myself. based on experience :)
Adding up quote number 6, almost similar with quote number 4 above :
6. "Life has taught me that you can`t control someone's loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn`t mean they'll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn`t mean they'll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least." :)))))))))
And also, as far as MONEY concerned (from this case), i wanna add up this quote number 7 :
7. "Your greatest test is when you are able to bless someone else while you are going through your own storm."
Btw, if you are reading this, me is still waiting for you and your promise about the money thingy lohhh. Please do make me the favor. I am still waiting because it`s you and your own words who made me wait. Don`t make me laugh after saying those "kind" words and you're just gonna walk away and eat your words now???! HAHA.
WHAT A MAN. VERY GENTLEMAN, AREN`T YOU?
If you didn`t have enough money, or wanted some parts of the money, or whatever the reason was, you could have just told me honestly IN A NICE WAY, and i would understand because money needs are very natural these days. But no need to hurt and spitting out those words please. So i wouldn`t be running out of patience and curse you too cause it`s real no fun. And maybe i would be glad to gave away those money which was supposed to be mine and considered it as a blessing for you from the very first instead of hurting each other like this :)
OK. i guess it`s enough story already about "that people." Case Closed.
Oh, and another thing i learned after you enter work life is.... choose and trust your friend wisely. I am not saying that you couldn`t make friends in there but.. really... be careful. I got this advice from a friend i met at my ex-company where i worked as an auditor (accountant) before. I didn`t really put it into practice, though. But if i think about it now, it`s so damn right!
Basically, what she advised me before is like this* :
(*It`s not exactly hers, tho. I got the moral story from her. And then i rewrite it from my point of view of what she said then and connected it with the situation i`m in now)
"You can be friends with people you met in your job. After a while, after spending so much time working and stressing together, it is only natural if you become comfortable with them as they will be the one you meet more constantly rather than your family. You can hang out with them after work, and sooner or later, they will be the place for you to share your thoughts too, whether it is work-related or personal matter which will makes your friendship worth much more than just your-usual-officemate-where-you-only-meet-at-the-office. (and after that, bye bye, lol.) You are welcome to be comfortable with some people and then trust them. But not too much. You still have to define and separate what you could told others freely, and what you couldn`t. Never, ever opening up to people too much and tell people too many things about yourself, about other people, about your life, (especially if it`s your weakness), or your personal matter wherever you work. "
"WHY?"
Let me think of a simple example for you.
Hmmm...
Ok, let's say you have a friend named O. You believe in him and you told him anything. Soon, you get some problems with him regarding work matters. And then, both of you are trapped into a fierce argument where no one would hold back and say sorry. It is then a cease-fire situation already.
And who knows if your dearest-friend, O won`t stab you from your back by EITHER telling all your unrelated-weaknesses* OR by telling people what you said/gossiped with him (of course with extra seasoning to heat the stove)** you have told O by your very trust and connected it skillfully with the mistakes you might made in order to get support from the-unrelated-party to make O feels good about himself.. heheeee.. And putting you into the suspect chair here which will, really, put you into the disadvantage. Then.. Believe me, O will become the winner by vote.***
*e. g : she comes from a broken-home family, no wonder she is that uncivilized or, she ever got trouble with our boss, or, you know, she is not a virgin anymore, or anything.
**e. g : you know, she badmouthed you before. She said you were so annoying and troublesome, or I heard she talk bad about you many times, be careful with her. She is not as innocent as you think before, or anything like that.
*** winner by vote : the term i created myself to describe a condition when there was an argument / a fight / whatsoever, and majority of people would choose to defend one side much better without knowing the background of the story objectively from both sides first, but rather because that people are so much better at appearance, or at seeking attention or in pretension or in making friends and are much closer to them, or anything, so then they got free supporters or you could say citizens, to defend them and helping them attacking the other one, with pleasure. Like, how easy it is for people to get provoked, aren`t they? :)
Hehehe,, Got it? :)
When you`re already entering work life, like it or not, be ready to compete with everyone else where it is okay to be selfish and individual. It is already common for friends eating friends. By human nature, we all want some sort of appreciation of ourselves, want to always look good in front of others, and we don`t like to be blamed. And by doing so, the easiest way is to point out others mistakes to hide ours. It is that simple that sometimes we forget too look into ourselves. And in the reality is, the one who will always win in front of boss is the one who is better at seeking attention and play-it-sweet and smart in front of everyone but don`t expect them not to backstab at the end. Hehehehe... Trust me, cause i`ve seen people like that.
Well, i guess you can`t always expect to have friendship as good, innocent and naive as friends you had back then in your school days when what you just have to think about for tomorrow was your homework. You needn`t to think really hard about yourself, yet. But even in school life, there were also some people who would do literally, anything to get good scores, right? So, hehehe.. :)
Ok, in your defense, maybe some of you could say, nah, we are not like that. We are team player. We are a second family or blah, blah, blah. Yeah, save your team player or family thingy for yourselves, but saying not hypocritically, we all will put our attention to ourself first, rather than team, on most conditions, right? Right?
And so, a little quote number 8 to close the deal here, which is so damn right :
8. "If you expect the world to be fair to you because you are fair, you are fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn`t eat him :)"
A little OOT here but if i looked back, it is pretty surprising now how i could survived in my last job as a educational consultant or you might say "sales in disguise" (lol). Actually, i don`t have any background or experience in sales before. If you read and follow my blog, you must know that i earn bachelor of economic degree, which has very different line of work where we play with numbers and data, back at the office, not actively looking for customers in the front line. lol.
Like, seriously, i have never been confident in selling something before as i don`t describe myself as either sweet-talker-type or a real pushy sales people. I`m not that persuasive and agressive enough to convince people into buying something. Plus! I`m not that sanguine kind of people whom you could easily mingle with when you first met them. I`m more of a melancholic person based on my test of personality and on my personal judgement of myself, haha. When people first saw me, most of them will be thinking that i am either arrogant or shy. Haha -_- I get pessimistic and lacking of confidence to get to know new people most of the event. But hey, believe it or not, i could be super friendly and very talkactive with you but i usually* need more than just one-short-encounter to be crazy and talk a lot with you about anything. XD
*(it's possible for me to directly be friended people i just met if i feel comfy and connected with them, or we share the same interest.)
Ok, now, in case you don`t know, my last work consist of selling english course product. (well, not exactly a product because you can`t really see it, so let`s just say we sell service) when sometimes we must workin pretension (haha) as if we care for people's future if they don`t learn english right away. We do some sort of digging of the prospect first. We must know precisely about our prospects, their backgrounds, like education background, where do they live, and what is their job. It's important because we need to know if they`re capable of buying our course (like, could they afford it or not? which is a very big question of the day in marketing XD) which could be considered somewhat expensive to some people and it`s always on us to convince them that it may be expensive but it`s worth it. haha.!
We listen, listen, and listen to people's stories, their background, etc (call us consultant) and then we do all those friendly chit-chat (to break the ice first) continues with that like-we-care-presentations in disguise but persuasive enough to point out why they should learn english NOW (hey, create their urgency) and blah blah blah, and this is what you got and your benefit of learning here (a.k.a why our english course is better than the others), until that moment when we finally presented what we called the normal price (and shocked them to death, lol because our english course is considered to be ultra-expensive, at least compared to our competitors) until the promotion price privileged (only for your first visit here) showed up, LOL. You could get this special price with bonus levels only on one condition, THAT, if you registered NOW, NOT LATER, which you will regret if you don`t take the chance : NOW, and thus, will led (or force?) them into their impulsive decision to pay for the course NOW (if it`s possible) and directly becoming a student after only one presentation! HAHA! GOTCHA! (Now that's the ideal one. If only all prospects were like that, i would be very rich, lol). Now that's marketing trick. Yeah, sales will be sales haha. Thanks God, it`s actually more soft-selling rather than let's say, credit card sales or insurance agent where it`s very obvious that you are selling something. haha!
(haha. I just revealed our sample of marketing tricks here. lol.)
Every time i got prospects, i usually spent a lot of time just to chat with them, (if i feel they are pretty open people yah), we could talk about many other random things other than english-related that comes into my mind. I would mostly listen every times and let them talk, talk and talk and give them feed back and ask again, and let them story-telling me again and (sometimes pretend, lol) showed them that i`m interested in what they're talking about. I could spent much more than just-a-one-hour-presentation with one prospect. I mean, the more they tell stories, the more they will trust me, right? It could make everything easier if we already feel connected with the prospect so i don`t jump right in into the product presentation and especially PRICING PART too fast. So it wouldn`t look like i only want your money. (Although, it`s always about money at the end of the day, lol). Btw, i always had this deg-deg-deg/dag-dig-dug feeling, kinda worry and nervous feeling whenever i show people our price list, haha. I always wondered if they thought our price was too expensive or maybe unaffordable to them ;(
Nah, that's where i relate my personality to this job. My boss said that it could be my positive side that when people think that i`m nice and looks somewhat innocent (?), people could easily trust me more, that i`m not trying to trick/trap them. But it has some kind of backlash though. I`m having a REAL hard time to convince people who likes to make a bid, bid, and bid and pushing me for more and more bonuses or discounts! Like, Seriously!!! Gimme a break already! We are not traditional market! (FYI : The case i wrote down earlier for case for quote number 7 was caused by THIS)!!! SUPER HATE THAT MISTER! ERRRRR
Well, either way, i get by anyway. I never sell less than 100 millions per month. I could earn pretty much more money from this job than other of my fresh graduate's friends who took accounting job fields. I have been choosen as Top 3 Educational Consultant from whole centers in Indonesia once (in December 2014, just one month before i choose to resigned). It is one of a great achievement for me, like i never know that i could make it now considering of my passive personality i described earlier, haha! (even one of my best friend surprised when she first knew that i worked as a marketing, she said that it's really out of my image and it didn`t really suit me, lol). And so, i proved it to them, as well.
I really did feel grateful to have worked as a marketing team. I mean, it`s more fun (sometimes, lol) active, and challenging, not as boring as working at the office as i experienced before. I learned to work under real pressure, handling target each month. I learned how to handle people, the way i talk with people and understanding how to communicate and put yourself along with different types of people from high school students until workers (professionals). I learned how to deal with objections and customer's complaints. I learned to work together with your co-workers with all of our differences. And learned the hard way that you will see people's true color when money's involved. :)
So basically, i have gained a lot of new experiences by working there i wouldn`t have found if i was stucking myself at accounting job. Still, i`m not the best of the best in terms of selling, there are other people who are waaaaayyyyy better. But at least i don`t disappoint myself. Like, i quit this job not because i can`t sell. And i could walk away with pride. haha.
This is where quote number 2 i wrote above goes. I learned that it`s okay to let go of some negative, toxic people outta your life in order to gain peace. Ok, for me, it`s not that i stopped being nice with him. It`s just, i must know how to set my limits and define how much kindness i can still give (my tolerable amount of kindness i`m still willing to give) without expecting nice return anyway and be disappointed again towards some people.
And i would perfectly add up quote number 4 here :
4. "I learned the hard way that i cannot always count on other to respect my feelings, even if i respect theirs. Being a good person doesn`t guarantee that others will be good people, too. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away."
haha. No need of much explanation for this quote, right? :)
From this job, i learned that many people are not as kind and good as how they look like at first. (at least they are not as good as you think they would at first) Ok, they might leave a friendly, nice impression at your first encounter with them, an impression they wouldn`t leave anymore when it comes to MONEY. Be careful with money cause it`s a sensitive case. Money could really driven you crazy and forget other things, haha. Like, money, money, money~
*Another back story of how terrible money could have worked over your relationship with your own friend (now becoming ex-friend) :
So, there is this one person i secretly admired* (at first. now : haha don`t even ask. SICK OF HIM.) But we are now are not in the states of getting along AT ALL after i`ve already been disappointed real bad. Maybe i expected too much of him. Thought he would be different than the others. It just never crossed my mind for him to ever said something so CRUEL to me and had that kind of thinking towards me. haha. It really hurt me, like so deep. And so, under my disappointment, i hurt him back. And he really hurt, too. We just hurt each other round and round. I feel sorry at first to have said something so bad to him, but i didn`t regret what i have said to him now, tho. He deserved it well. :)
The only regret i had was if i remembered our moment of laugh, togetherness and friendship we shared back then that just be forgotten just like that after this case had happened like we were strangers. Worse than it, because now we are pretending like we don`t know each other. At all. Like a couple of ex boyfriend and girlfriend. HAHA. And it`s not a-so-comfortable-situation when you will still have some business to do over his place. haha. But whatever. Maybe it`s better this way and loook at how sensitive you are, money.
(Okay, So, My best friend's comment on this case was just, "you know, it`s only natural when money plays. Everyone would think the same way." )
-
(Well, yeah, but i`m not. If i were him, i wouldn`t ask for what's supposed to be other's rights. I would be ashamed of myself if i did as i`m the type who will feel bad if i took advantage of others, or so i thought, especially since i`m thinking that we were close enough before. Am i the only one who were thinking that we were that close, or am i too anti-mainstream? Or maybe i am just too naïve on this? Well, whatever.)
Well, so shame on me now to ever have admired him. :)
But maybe it just meant to happen. I mean, if it hadn`t happened, i would have never known about his true self. Thank you God for making me realize and opening my eyes that have been blinded for so long. I never listened to people saying that he is never as kind as i thought before, i chose to deafen my ear and trust my emotion and playing with feelings instead and so here we are.
Then we met again, quote number 2! ^^, bye bye, you, hypocrite people who taught people to be positive and be grateful, bla bla bla but are negative himself. Already sick of your bullshit. Maybe it would be best for you to just throw away your many motivation books to the trashbin. (Cause it`s where they belong as it's not applicable for you and your doing). Who mentions others mistakes but not mirroring first. Who are attention-seeker in front of everyone, wanting to be the perfect one by bringing others down. Just realized it now after months in pretending not realizing. Well, so shame on you now. Only hoping that God will bless you for what you are, for your two-faced life and self-righteousness :) Karma is right there, my friend.
*A little clarification here :
From that case that just had happened to me, if think it through, the primary cause of the case (the fight and argument we had that made us hurting and hating each other every turn) was caused by my very high expectation towards him. Like i said before, i expected him to somehow understand my situation. While in the reality, it was not always like that, when it`s already connected with money. So, you never saw that coming before. But when you already had that high expectation towards someone from the very first moment and it turned out that it didn`t come true, get ready to be (first), disappointed and... hurting (denial stage, because you still don`t want to believe it).... and hating (It`s true, fact and now you hate him).
So, for my clarification here, i never intended to say that he or everyone else is a bad people to got that line of thinking (regarding money issue), like i`m the only saint here. I am not saying that he is evil and i am innocent. That he is bad then i`m good. Because people are different. What you feels right, might not be right for me and vice versa.
And when you were already been disappointed like that, whose fault was it then? Was it their fault? NO, it`s your fault. Your fault for having so much good expectation outta people :)
And let me write down quote number 5 here :
5. "Remember : expectation kills. Never, ever put too much expectation towards people, even if it is your best friend or your family. Cause when you do, and it isn`t come true, you are the one who will ending up real disappointed." - me made this one myself. based on experience :)
Adding up quote number 6, almost similar with quote number 4 above :
6. "Life has taught me that you can`t control someone's loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn`t mean they'll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn`t mean they'll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least." :)))))))))
And also, as far as MONEY concerned (from this case), i wanna add up this quote number 7 :
7. "Your greatest test is when you are able to bless someone else while you are going through your own storm."
Btw, if you are reading this, me is still waiting for you and your promise about the money thingy lohhh. Please do make me the favor. I am still waiting because it`s you and your own words who made me wait. Don`t make me laugh after saying those "kind" words and you're just gonna walk away and eat your words now???! HAHA.
WHAT A MAN. VERY GENTLEMAN, AREN`T YOU?
If you didn`t have enough money, or wanted some parts of the money, or whatever the reason was, you could have just told me honestly IN A NICE WAY, and i would understand because money needs are very natural these days. But no need to hurt and spitting out those words please. So i wouldn`t be running out of patience and curse you too cause it`s real no fun. And maybe i would be glad to gave away those money which was supposed to be mine and considered it as a blessing for you from the very first instead of hurting each other like this :)
OK. i guess it`s enough story already about "that people." Case Closed.
Oh, and another thing i learned after you enter work life is.... choose and trust your friend wisely. I am not saying that you couldn`t make friends in there but.. really... be careful. I got this advice from a friend i met at my ex-company where i worked as an auditor (accountant) before. I didn`t really put it into practice, though. But if i think about it now, it`s so damn right!
Basically, what she advised me before is like this* :
(*It`s not exactly hers, tho. I got the moral story from her. And then i rewrite it from my point of view of what she said then and connected it with the situation i`m in now)
"You can be friends with people you met in your job. After a while, after spending so much time working and stressing together, it is only natural if you become comfortable with them as they will be the one you meet more constantly rather than your family. You can hang out with them after work, and sooner or later, they will be the place for you to share your thoughts too, whether it is work-related or personal matter which will makes your friendship worth much more than just your-usual-officemate-where-you-only-meet-at-the-office. (and after that, bye bye, lol.) You are welcome to be comfortable with some people and then trust them. But not too much. You still have to define and separate what you could told others freely, and what you couldn`t. Never, ever opening up to people too much and tell people too many things about yourself, about other people, about your life, (especially if it`s your weakness), or your personal matter wherever you work. "
"WHY?"
Let me think of a simple example for you.
Hmmm...
Ok, let's say you have a friend named O. You believe in him and you told him anything. Soon, you get some problems with him regarding work matters. And then, both of you are trapped into a fierce argument where no one would hold back and say sorry. It is then a cease-fire situation already.
And who knows if your dearest-friend, O won`t stab you from your back by EITHER telling all your unrelated-weaknesses* OR by telling people what you said/gossiped with him (of course with extra seasoning to heat the stove)** you have told O by your very trust and connected it skillfully with the mistakes you might made in order to get support from the-unrelated-party to make O feels good about himself.. heheeee.. And putting you into the suspect chair here which will, really, put you into the disadvantage. Then.. Believe me, O will become the winner by vote.***
*e. g : she comes from a broken-home family, no wonder she is that uncivilized or, she ever got trouble with our boss, or, you know, she is not a virgin anymore, or anything.
**e. g : you know, she badmouthed you before. She said you were so annoying and troublesome, or I heard she talk bad about you many times, be careful with her. She is not as innocent as you think before, or anything like that.
*** winner by vote : the term i created myself to describe a condition when there was an argument / a fight / whatsoever, and majority of people would choose to defend one side much better without knowing the background of the story objectively from both sides first, but rather because that people are so much better at appearance, or at seeking attention or in pretension or in making friends and are much closer to them, or anything, so then they got free supporters or you could say citizens, to defend them and helping them attacking the other one, with pleasure. Like, how easy it is for people to get provoked, aren`t they? :)
Hehehe,, Got it? :)
When you`re already entering work life, like it or not, be ready to compete with everyone else where it is okay to be selfish and individual. It is already common for friends eating friends. By human nature, we all want some sort of appreciation of ourselves, want to always look good in front of others, and we don`t like to be blamed. And by doing so, the easiest way is to point out others mistakes to hide ours. It is that simple that sometimes we forget too look into ourselves. And in the reality is, the one who will always win in front of boss is the one who is better at seeking attention and play-it-sweet and smart in front of everyone but don`t expect them not to backstab at the end. Hehehehe... Trust me, cause i`ve seen people like that.
Well, i guess you can`t always expect to have friendship as good, innocent and naive as friends you had back then in your school days when what you just have to think about for tomorrow was your homework. You needn`t to think really hard about yourself, yet. But even in school life, there were also some people who would do literally, anything to get good scores, right? So, hehehe.. :)
Ok, in your defense, maybe some of you could say, nah, we are not like that. We are team player. We are a second family or blah, blah, blah. Yeah, save your team player or family thingy for yourselves, but saying not hypocritically, we all will put our attention to ourself first, rather than team, on most conditions, right? Right?
And so, a little quote number 8 to close the deal here, which is so damn right :
8. "If you expect the world to be fair to you because you are fair, you are fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn`t eat him :)"
Like, seriously, i have never been confident in selling something before as i don`t describe myself as either sweet-talker-type or a real pushy sales people. I`m not that persuasive and agressive enough to convince people into buying something. Plus! I`m not that sanguine kind of people whom you could easily mingle with when you first met them. I`m more of a melancholic person based on my test of personality and on my personal judgement of myself, haha. When people first saw me, most of them will be thinking that i am either arrogant or shy. Haha -_- I get pessimistic and lacking of confidence to get to know new people most of the event. But hey, believe it or not, i could be super friendly and very talkactive with you but i usually* need more than just one-short-encounter to be crazy and talk a lot with you about anything. XD
*(it's possible for me to directly be friended people i just met if i feel comfy and connected with them, or we share the same interest.)
Ok, now, in case you don`t know, my last work consist of selling english course product. (well, not exactly a product because you can`t really see it, so let`s just say we sell service) when sometimes we must work
We listen, listen, and listen to people's stories, their background, etc (call us consultant) and then we do all those friendly chit-chat (to break the ice first) continues with that like-we-care-presentations in disguise but persuasive enough to point out why they should learn english NOW (hey, create their urgency) and blah blah blah, and this is what you got and your benefit of learning here (a.k.a why our english course is better than the others), until that moment when we finally presented what we called the normal price (and shocked them to death, lol because our english course is considered to be ultra-expensive, at least compared to our competitors) until the promotion price privileged (only for your first visit here) showed up, LOL. You could get this special price with bonus levels only on one condition, THAT, if you registered NOW, NOT LATER, which you will regret if you don`t take the chance : NOW, and thus, will led (
(haha. I just revealed our sample of marketing tricks here. lol.)
Every time i got prospects, i usually spent a lot of time just to chat with them, (if i feel they are pretty open people yah), we could talk about many other random things other than english-related that comes into my mind. I would mostly listen every times and let them talk, talk and talk and give them feed back and ask again, and let them story-telling me again and (
Nah, that's where i relate my personality to this job. My boss said that it could be my positive side that when people think that i`m nice and looks somewhat innocent (?), people could easily trust me more, that i`m not trying to trick/trap them. But it has some kind of backlash though. I`m having a REAL hard time to convince people who likes to make a bid, bid, and bid and pushing me for more and more bonuses or discounts! Like, Seriously!!! Gimme a break already! We are not traditional market! (FYI : The case i wrote down earlier for case for quote number 7 was caused by THIS)!!! SUPER HATE THAT MISTER! ERRRRR
Well, either way, i get by anyway. I never sell less than 100 millions per month. I could earn pretty much more money from this job than other of my fresh graduate's friends who took accounting job fields. I have been choosen as Top 3 Educational Consultant from whole centers in Indonesia once (in December 2014, just one month before i choose to resigned). It is one of a great achievement for me, like i never know that i could make it now considering of my passive personality i described earlier, haha! (even one of my best friend surprised when she first knew that i worked as a marketing, she said that it's really out of my image and it didn`t really suit me, lol). And so, i proved it to them, as well.
I really did feel grateful to have worked as a marketing team. I mean, it`s more fun (sometimes, lol) active, and challenging, not as boring as working at the office as i experienced before. I learned to work under real pressure, handling target each month. I learned how to handle people, the way i talk with people and understanding how to communicate and put yourself along with different types of people from high school students until workers (professionals). I learned how to deal with objections and customer's complaints. I learned to work together with your co-workers with all of our differences. And learned the hard way that you will see people's true color when money's involved. :)
So basically, i have gained a lot of new experiences by working there i wouldn`t have found if i was stucking myself at accounting job. Still, i`m not the best of the best in terms of selling, there are other people who are waaaaayyyyy better. But at least i don`t disappoint myself. Like, i quit this job not because i can`t sell. And i could walk away with pride. haha.
I remembered, by my last day on my last work last january (exactly the 31st),
my boss gave me her last advice for me like, "i know, you are one kind and
innocent person, but that doesn`t mean that everyone else around you is. You
have to know how to differentiate it. One thing you should remember, whatever
paths you may choose after this, either continuing your education or work at
another place, you shouldn`t let any people take you for granted. Have you ever
feel betrayed and hurt because of that? Because i have and it doesn`t feel
good." Thankyou for the kind advice, boss. :)
So, above all those back stories i have written, these are what i learned :
Never, ever trust people easily. I mean, being nice is good, very good. But always know your limit and where you stand. And never let your guard down if you just know people for a short moment. Or you're thinking you know them and feeling like they are a good people because you only see the good in them? Remember this : People are layers to layers. We got both good and bad sides resides in ourselves. The good sides on the surface, (to point out our image we want to show in front of others), and the bad sides within, obviously. So, if you never see people's bad side and what`s really deep down there, meaning : you don`t them THAT much. ---- btw me create this one myself, tee-hee. Touching? lol. Never, ever, give them 100% of your trust, or you'll regret it later, like quote number 5.
Never get involved too much just out of pity. (if you haven`t known them for so well, especially). Cause you will never know what`s in people's hearts. They could possibly in pretense of being nice to get your trust and once they get it, they will easily throw it away and backstab you. It`s different than having negative thoughts towards people, but it's just a matter of precaution because it is only natural if you don`t want to be friends with those who already have bad motives towards you or only want to take advantage of you.
You gotta be careful outta some people. How's the sign to knew if he/she was a bad people or not? Well, ask yourself. Do you feel comfy when you are with them? I realized this much because human being are already be gifted with instinct. Survival instinct, that is. Like, natural alarm. When you're already alarmed and your heart starts to question their kindness, be vigilant! Cause, there are too many manipulatives, two-faced people swarming out there these days. It`s real hard and very rare to find a real, loyal people. So if you already find one, treasure them. :)
NOTES :
Ok, me myself is never and will not be a saint, but the least i could do is always trying to be REAL and NICE towards others if i could. :)
And, one more advice to say here. Always, always and always trust what your heart, inner heart says. Once, my professor while i was in university life in one of his lectures said something like, "Before you do something, ask your heart. Do it ONLY if it does feel right to you. if it doesn`t, don`t."
OK!
*Update : It took me approximately eighteen hours (?) already to finish this post up to this long. fiuuhhh. Like, finally. I don`t know, maybe this is the longest post i`ve ever made in this blog? I really gave it a deep, hard thought to every stories i wrote here, and really trying my best to write down every sentences in a correct grammar (based on my knowledge) and easy-to-understand words. (Believe it or not!)
Okay, never thought that this post would be this longgggg and so deep and so philosophical. Haha! It`s really unplanned. The initial plan was to write down some quotes i found which could be relatable to some of my stories, but ending up i wrote much more than that (shares some of my working experiences as well haha).
*And this is for people who are reading this and kinda feel offended in some ways, then i could safely assumed that you are the people i am talking about and here hoping you'd understand what i wrote. haha! No hard feelings, okay? I just write down what i never talk to you with. Cause i think i am muuuch better at writing than speaking, really. With words, i am able to express my feelings more freely that i never will when i have to speak. (hidden talent spotted : maybe i should be a novelist after all? lol)
Like, i have the right to write anything i want to share, right? (as long as it doesn`t violate rules, i don`t really mention any names nor places here, right? How kind of me, shud thank me one million times :P) And hey, that`s the use of a blog, an online diary where everyone who wants to read could access it publicly which offers easiness in writing so you could just write whatever cross your mind at one time and then at another time, you could just go back to re-read what you`ve written so far and adding up something again if you feel like it too... I go for this easy-editing feature much, FYI as i think i`m kinda perfectionist person. Tee hee!~
Whatever, you could also bad mouthed me back there if you want to, but i won`t care anymore as i already quit, and my times would be so much wasted to bother with you again NOW, haha. I do it here, to make it more, ellegantly, and would last longer (even for forever) than your gossipy mouth. :P This is the perfect revenge for me now and after this, will let karma works for you, my friend. :) Take care there. hihi.
Btw, hope the quotes and the stories i`ve shared could be useful for all of you who are reading this and experiencing the same struggles. ^^
SO, BYE? :P
Not a bye-bye yet
Because there is a :
LAST QUOTE FROM ME :
I promise this would be the very last from this post, (hehe) as i am going to sleep after this. My last update is on friday, february 13rd, at 5.00Am already? T.T.. Oh no, everyone would wake up very soon, my sister and brother will go to school and all i wanna do is going to sleep. :(
AND HERE IT IS, presenting Ms. TAYLOR SWIFT (T.S), my favorite singer, EVER!!!
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| Picture courtesy of the clever Mr. Google |
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